The Hills Are Alive With Repeat Destinations

Off to Salzburg Austria this weekend with our friend from home. It'll be our guest's first trip to Salzburg, and our second in 10 months. The original plan was to go to Prague, Czech Republic (a mere 3 hour drive from our front door), but it was scuttled at the last minute for any number of logistic and banal reasons. All in all, Salzburg is hardly a bad backup plan, and the trip there is a small delight-- train fare will be a mere 28 Euros for all 3 of us combined (pretty fantastic when you realize that a single tank of gas is 65 Euros), and the views of the countryside are fab. While there certainly is a Sound of Music bus trip available (again, it's pretty comical that most Europeans and Austrians have never seen the movie), after reading the incredibly entertaining book Salt: A World History (a must for foodies, travelers and history buffs) I'll be pushing for a tour of the area's famous salt mines (Salzburg literally means "salt city," and the local mines were the source of Salzburg's great wealth and power in olden times). In the end, time constraints-- we'll be on the ground for less than 2 full days-- will dictate the itinerary, but dare to dream.

House Cleaning

Not much going on here at Expat HQ of late-- we're hosting a guest, and will be traveling to a Fabulous! European! City! at the end of the week (city itself TBD), and I'm doing some mop-up work for the company I was assisting in Munich. In lieu of an actual substantive post, I've been playing around with some of the features of this here blog and trying to keep things fresh.

I'm personally not crazy about the most obvious difference from last week, the color change. I quite liked the charcoal backdrop, in large part because (1.) it looked cool, and (2.) it is not the most common color for a blog, so it really stood out for the lurkers and stumblers. But, I'm going to give this dark blue thing a whirl-- it likely won't be the final color, and things may well revert back to the original color scheme, so bear with me.

I'd also like to point out a couple of changes to the links on the sidebar. The Pacific Northwest-centric food blog Sunday Gravy has been regrettably dropped-- I think author Don B. got too busy, and the thing hadn't been updated in quite a while. In its place is something completely different, The Smallest Star, a blog from artist, screenwriter, musician, actor and director Cory McAbee. I'm a big fan of Cory's and he has made some of the most fiercely original films I've ever seen, The American Astronaut and his most recent creation Stingray Sam (trailer here), both of which can be described as "Space-Musical-Westerns," genres in which, not coincidentally, an original story can trump budget limitations. Cory's blog doesn't get updated all that often and more or less follows him as he tours to promote his films (The American Astronaut, despite being some 9 years old has achieved "cult" status and still plays in theaters). An interesting travelogue from a singularly talented artist.

I'm also replacing one Paris photo blog with another. Goodbye Paris Daily Photo, hello unimaginatively titled Daily Photo In Paris. It's hard to go wrong with either blog, and the subject matter happens to be one of the most photogenic cities in the world, but the work on display in this new link here just seems... I dunno, crisper, perhaps less consciously "arty." As the fates would have it, the author/photographer is on break, and won't be back for a couple weeks! But scroll through the archives and see what I mean.

Some Things I'll Never Understand

As a selective chronicler of all things German, I may occasionally get tagged as a cynic or a xenophobe towards my fellow adopted countrymen. This really isn't the case-- I do like living here, my German comprehension and language skills continue to incrementally increase, I have absolutely no hangups about hopping a train and traveling throughout the country (or for that matter to Austria and/or Switzerland) despite my still-limited Deutsch sprachen, and I count German citizens as some of my good friends here. But, as the title suggests, there are a few things I'll never quite "get." And that's OK, and part and parcel of being a guest and observer of a country.

I mentioned the appearance of filled/jelly doughnuts (aka Krapfen) earlier this month as evidence of the German Fasching or pre-Lenten season. Fasching's final act takes place today, a day known as as Faschingsdienstag or Shrove Tuesday. There is a direct parallel with a lot of Catholic cultures, from Mardi Gras in New Orleans to Carnival in Venice and Rio-- a costume party to blow off steam. Actually, a lot of B's co-workers have taken yesterday (aka Rosenmontag or Rose Monday) and today off, because they are doing the party-hearty thing, and it's an accepted and acknowledged reason to take off from work. Up in Cologne and more Protestant reaches of the country, there is a similar but different thing-- it's just a crazed party with only tenuous religious overtones-- an event called Karneval, which is by all accounts closer in tone to the bacchanal blast of Mardi Gras than the comparatively tame Fasching I've seen here, where adults and kids dress up in costumes and "act silly."

In a country where it's perfectly normal to wait for the light to change before crossing an empty street at 1:00am, having a government-sanctioned couple days to "get crazy" leads to all sorts of oddball behavior. Control, and buttoned-down conformity are the order of the day the rest of the year, so I'm not sure a lot of the locals really know how to cut loose, and from my outsiders perch, it can appear a bit... forced (for the purposes of this post I'll conveniently forget beer festivals, which really tend to bring out the "true" German zeitgeist). Stuff like TV shows with minor celebrities dressed up "crazy" are all over the airwaves-- I saw a clip of a woman in a clown suit pulling a golf bag across the stage-- judging by the crowd reaction shots, everyone was soiling themselves laughing-- I mean, a clown with a golf bag--THAT'S NUTS!! By that token, if that's the pinnacle of high-comedy, this guy would make a mint here. Rubbernecker fascinating stuff. In Cologne, it's a bit of a tradition for a group of women to run up to guys wearing neckties and cut them off with scissors, though I'm not sure which is considered more outlaw-- cutting off stranger's clothing or the running with scissors part.

And there's the irony of this 2-minute video, which shows that for Karneval, the folks of Cologne express their individuality, spontaneity and non-conformity by, um, gathering with a large group of like-minded people to sing songs off of carefully prepared lyrics sheets. Some things I'll never understand.

So, What's A Trade Show Like?

Just got back last night from a whirlwind 4 days in Germany's 3rd largest city (1.35 million residents), and the capitol of Bavaria-- the city of Munich. I was there helping out my old business partner at the ISPO international trade fair, and doing my level best to network as well. I definitely picked up at least one new client, and have a couple others interested.

I've been attending trade shows pretty much uninterrupted for about 18 years straight, 2 times a year, and almost exclusively as an exhibitor-- you know, those poor mopes who man the booths. For anyone who thinks that trade shows are glamorous or in the slightest bit "fun," please allow me to disabuse you of these crazy-ass notions. Trade shows are a lot of work, and are both high stress (you have 3.5 days to create business for the following 6 months-- when the next trade show occurs), and a slow form of torture. I've often joked that trade shows routinely violate the Geneva convention-- I mean, you've got it all: sleep deprivation (wake-up call is at 6:00am sharp, the days routinely end after midnight), malnutrition (food on the go; most of it empty calories, and lunch is a rarity), physical stress (ever stand on a concrete floor for 10 hours straight, 3+ days in a row?), and mental abuse (painting a smile on your face and giving the same sales spiel twice every hour, plus the stress of making this a successful event). And as far as the photo above, I once described being a trade show exhibitor thusly: Put $10,000 in a paper bag. Now light it on fire. Now walk away. Travel costs, staff costs, booth rental, food, lost sales from being out of the office, etc., etc.-- frankly, the $10,000 figure is pretty lowball. That being said, it's a necessity to do these things and part of being in business, but it's not pleasurable-- If I went as a retailer, that would be a completely different story altogether-- free stuff from one end of the hall to another, party invites, celebrities, food and drink-- now THAT is the fun side of things-- mixing work and pleasure.

On the lighter side, for the 3rd show in a row, I managed to finagle a "journalist" pass, which did allow me a bit more freedom to move around the show as I pleased (technically, exhibitors can not enter other exhibitors' booths), and access to the two Press Lounges, which were a comparative oasis-- free WiFi, snacks, coffee and drinks. The show organizers really snuggle up to the press, so it was fun to play the part of the ink-stained wretch, get some fresh fruit and a cappuccino, and send meeting synopses to HQ via my laptop in a quiet room.

This also marked my 4th time in Munich. One day, I actually hope to see it. Again, heading off to a show at 8:00 am (when sun is just starting to come up) and coming home at 8:00pm (when it's dark), with any number of must-attend functions and commitments that go to 11:00pm and beyond doesn't really lend itself to exploring a city. I'm pretty sure I would like it though-- Munich seems pretty cool.

So if shows are so damn awful, why do I go? Well, it was to help out a friend in need, build up my freelancing business, and put some money in my pocket. Plus, well, beyond the fact that I'm actually (gritting teeth here) pretty good at them, I occasionally do miss the hurlyburly and the minor adrenalin rush/pressure cooker atmosphere. That, and in 6 months, I'll probably forget how much I hate trade shows, and go to the next one.

More Supermarket Fun

Just as everybody outside the country unfairly characterizes Germans as a bunch of lederhosen wearing, beer drinking, terminally unhip automatons, the pendulum swings both ways. From what I can tell, Germans apparently believe Americans to be loud and, um, fat. For example any German supermarket will have items that, while probably not American made, then certainly American (at least the perception of "American") inspired. Like the frozen pizza above-- OK, fair game there, lots of people I know like Hawaiian style pizza (with pepperoni and pineapple), but really now-- "Big Americans"? I don't see any beer that says "Drunk Germans."

Then there are things that really miss the mark. Maybe this was the way things used to be, but I never recall hot dogs packaged in jars-- even pre-packed German supermarket sausages (uniformly excellent by the way-- these guys have the right attitude towards meat) come in the standard plastic vacuum sealed bags. But according to the supermarket, you can get your wieners in a glass jar (click on photo for close-up)-- just like the Americans eat!! Whaaaaaat???

Finally, there's this sort of idealized America, where the marketers throw in an "American sounding" name, no matter how much of a disconnect it may be to the actual product being sold. Stuff like Nick The Easy Rider brand peanut butter. As if a barrel-chested, interstate-wandering, Harley-riding grandpa (click on the link to see the photo) is the final word on nut spreads (truth be told, this stuff is actually pretty good though-- maybe they are on to something). Sliced white bread is pretty easy to find, though I don't know anybody who buys it (German bread being excellent). Might have something to do with being called Kentucky Sandwich, with a picture of a haggard Uncle Sam on the bag. No offense to The Bluegrass State, but I don't automatically think of sandwiches when people say "Kentucky." Horses, hilljacks and basketball yes, but not crappy bread.