Radio Silence

Sorry for the lack of updates; I'm currently in the midst of my biggest freelance assignment to date, and it is taking up huge chunks of my day. I'm on the computer all day doing this job (now that it's 60 and sunny out, natch-- why wasn't this during the crappy weather?), and the idea of sitting in front of this screen for one minute longer doesn't sit that well with me at the moment. Accordingly, posts will be sporadic and likely short, if at all, for the next couple weeks. The work is a bit of a grind, but fun and rewarding as well. And I like the idea of some steady work--it's been a while and I sort of missed it.

In the meantime, check out this surreal and amusing photo from one of the guys on the Deadliest Catch TV show. Hey folks, I'm fried right now, and I don't have much in the tank.

Somewhere, There's A Conchords Fan Giggling

Sorry for the lousy picture from my frozen-over camera phone (it was 14 degrees last night!!), but here's a shot from the local overpriced Lush soap emporium, hawking "Business Time" massage bar soap. I'd like to think this is a clever and mildly obscure reference to the late, great HBO (and before that, BBC) series Flight of the Conchords, which tells the fictional story of 2 sweet-but-naive New Zealand sheepherders trying to break into the New York acoustic music scene. The humor is dry as a bone, and is often pointed at the bandmembers themselves. Season 1 (conveniently available on DVD) was a riot; season 2 was a bit hit or miss, but had its moments. "Business Time" was arguably one of the most memorable songs from season 1, and hilariously chronicles the efforts of a clueless swain trying to get intimate with his partner. The video (from the series and DVD) is in a fantasy/dream sequence. Not really NSFW (more suggestive than anything), but save this one for home viewing so you can crank it up. Enjoy!

Quixotic: [kwɪkˈsɒtɪk] 1. Caught up in...the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality. 2. What I'm doing right now

Over the last couple months, my poor unsuspecting relatives back home have been pelted with requests about my family ancestry. This isn't because I'm feeling a wave of nostalgia or have the urge to check out my roots; it's all about trying to get a job in Europe (freelancing is great, but it's feast-or-famine). Without going into laborious detail, let me say that as a citizen from anywheres outside the 27-member European Union (EU), in terms of finding legitimate employment easily, the deck is pretty stacked. One possible way to combat this is to gain EU citizenship, and that's what I've been researching on-and-off for the last couple months, specifically the concept of dual citizenship-- a citizen of both the USA and an EU country. Believe me, our appreciation for the freedoms, rewards and opportunities America affords has only grown during our time here, so this is not a knock on the good ol' USA-- it is, however all about keeping my retirement accounts fully funded.

Anyway, dual citizenship requires that you have ancestors and roots in the specific country you're applying to, and some countries' citizenship requirements are more restrictive than others. Because my family tree is a definite Heinz 57 smörgåsbord, I did have some options to track down and pursue. I found that Ireland and Italy (2 countries where I have some ancestry) seem to have the most liberal citizenship rules, so I've been working on those. Ireland was my first choice-- between my familiarity with both the language and the excellent beer, Irish citizenship also offers some astoundingly great benefits (like a college education for €2500/year)... but I was one generation off, ancestry wise. Bugger. I may end up in a similar fate with the Italians, but as anyone who's been to the Rome airport knows firsthand, dealing with those guys is a test of one's patience. There is an Italian consulate here in town, and they are open for exactly 3.5 hours a day, and seem to enjoy dodging any work whatsoever. My requests have been fobbed off to nearly everyone in the office, passed on to the Frankfurt office only to have it sent back to Nuremberg, and it's been over a month since my last email received a reply. This is compounded with the not-terribly-amusing realization that they don't speak English, I don't speak Italian, and our collective German is, as they say in Italy, schifezza. I've also been advised that the Italian citizenship paperwork process is laborious and expensive, and the actual timeline to receive citizenship after the papers have been filed is about 18 months. Hmmm, that pretty much hits the limit of our maximum allowable stay-time in Germany. Time to re-read the header of this post.

LATE EDIT:  I received an email from the Italians this very afternoon.  The reply (once translated) details the requirements for the non-native "Juri sanguinis" citizenship and finishes with the statement "the practice is long and complex," which I take as their shot across the bow signaling their reluctance and distaste for helping me out.  Um, I'm the one doing the research guys.

One Fine Country

"I maintain that the regions of Salzburg, Naples and Constantinople (Istanbul) are the most beautiful in the world."-Alexander von Humboldt

Just got back Sunday night from a quickie 3-day vacation to the neighboring country of Austria with our out-of-town guest. We went to Salzburg again, and while we had a moment's hesitation about returning to this small city for a second time in less than a year, we were rewarded yet again by the fantastic scenery, overall charm, and the genuine friendliness of its residents. Having only been to 1 city in Österreich (as Austria is known by its citizens), I can not presume to take its national pulse based on such a small sampling of people... but I'll readily agree with others when they say that Austrians are more relaxed and contended with their lot in life-- and they are far more concerned with quality of life than being the world's movers and shakers. Friendly too-- in contrast to the very private Germans, there have been two occasions where the folks at the next table at the cafe leaned over, politely asked where we were from, and proceeded to engage us in a jovial conversation-- something I daresay isn't common in the USA anymore. Bottom line: Be prepared to walk a lot ("compact" also means "streets closed to traffic"), but just go. It's a little bit of magic there.

The Hills Are Alive With Repeat Destinations

Off to Salzburg Austria this weekend with our friend from home. It'll be our guest's first trip to Salzburg, and our second in 10 months. The original plan was to go to Prague, Czech Republic (a mere 3 hour drive from our front door), but it was scuttled at the last minute for any number of logistic and banal reasons. All in all, Salzburg is hardly a bad backup plan, and the trip there is a small delight-- train fare will be a mere 28 Euros for all 3 of us combined (pretty fantastic when you realize that a single tank of gas is 65 Euros), and the views of the countryside are fab. While there certainly is a Sound of Music bus trip available (again, it's pretty comical that most Europeans and Austrians have never seen the movie), after reading the incredibly entertaining book Salt: A World History (a must for foodies, travelers and history buffs) I'll be pushing for a tour of the area's famous salt mines (Salzburg literally means "salt city," and the local mines were the source of Salzburg's great wealth and power in olden times). In the end, time constraints-- we'll be on the ground for less than 2 full days-- will dictate the itinerary, but dare to dream.

House Cleaning

Not much going on here at Expat HQ of late-- we're hosting a guest, and will be traveling to a Fabulous! European! City! at the end of the week (city itself TBD), and I'm doing some mop-up work for the company I was assisting in Munich. In lieu of an actual substantive post, I've been playing around with some of the features of this here blog and trying to keep things fresh.

I'm personally not crazy about the most obvious difference from last week, the color change. I quite liked the charcoal backdrop, in large part because (1.) it looked cool, and (2.) it is not the most common color for a blog, so it really stood out for the lurkers and stumblers. But, I'm going to give this dark blue thing a whirl-- it likely won't be the final color, and things may well revert back to the original color scheme, so bear with me.

I'd also like to point out a couple of changes to the links on the sidebar. The Pacific Northwest-centric food blog Sunday Gravy has been regrettably dropped-- I think author Don B. got too busy, and the thing hadn't been updated in quite a while. In its place is something completely different, The Smallest Star, a blog from artist, screenwriter, musician, actor and director Cory McAbee. I'm a big fan of Cory's and he has made some of the most fiercely original films I've ever seen, The American Astronaut and his most recent creation Stingray Sam (trailer here), both of which can be described as "Space-Musical-Westerns," genres in which, not coincidentally, an original story can trump budget limitations. Cory's blog doesn't get updated all that often and more or less follows him as he tours to promote his films (The American Astronaut, despite being some 9 years old has achieved "cult" status and still plays in theaters). An interesting travelogue from a singularly talented artist.

I'm also replacing one Paris photo blog with another. Goodbye Paris Daily Photo, hello unimaginatively titled Daily Photo In Paris. It's hard to go wrong with either blog, and the subject matter happens to be one of the most photogenic cities in the world, but the work on display in this new link here just seems... I dunno, crisper, perhaps less consciously "arty." As the fates would have it, the author/photographer is on break, and won't be back for a couple weeks! But scroll through the archives and see what I mean.

Some Things I'll Never Understand

As a selective chronicler of all things German, I may occasionally get tagged as a cynic or a xenophobe towards my fellow adopted countrymen. This really isn't the case-- I do like living here, my German comprehension and language skills continue to incrementally increase, I have absolutely no hangups about hopping a train and traveling throughout the country (or for that matter to Austria and/or Switzerland) despite my still-limited Deutsch sprachen, and I count German citizens as some of my good friends here. But, as the title suggests, there are a few things I'll never quite "get." And that's OK, and part and parcel of being a guest and observer of a country.

I mentioned the appearance of filled/jelly doughnuts (aka Krapfen) earlier this month as evidence of the German Fasching or pre-Lenten season. Fasching's final act takes place today, a day known as as Faschingsdienstag or Shrove Tuesday. There is a direct parallel with a lot of Catholic cultures, from Mardi Gras in New Orleans to Carnival in Venice and Rio-- a costume party to blow off steam. Actually, a lot of B's co-workers have taken yesterday (aka Rosenmontag or Rose Monday) and today off, because they are doing the party-hearty thing, and it's an accepted and acknowledged reason to take off from work. Up in Cologne and more Protestant reaches of the country, there is a similar but different thing-- it's just a crazed party with only tenuous religious overtones-- an event called Karneval, which is by all accounts closer in tone to the bacchanal blast of Mardi Gras than the comparatively tame Fasching I've seen here, where adults and kids dress up in costumes and "act silly."

In a country where it's perfectly normal to wait for the light to change before crossing an empty street at 1:00am, having a government-sanctioned couple days to "get crazy" leads to all sorts of oddball behavior. Control, and buttoned-down conformity are the order of the day the rest of the year, so I'm not sure a lot of the locals really know how to cut loose, and from my outsiders perch, it can appear a bit... forced (for the purposes of this post I'll conveniently forget beer festivals, which really tend to bring out the "true" German zeitgeist). Stuff like TV shows with minor celebrities dressed up "crazy" are all over the airwaves-- I saw a clip of a woman in a clown suit pulling a golf bag across the stage-- judging by the crowd reaction shots, everyone was soiling themselves laughing-- I mean, a clown with a golf bag--THAT'S NUTS!! By that token, if that's the pinnacle of high-comedy, this guy would make a mint here. Rubbernecker fascinating stuff. In Cologne, it's a bit of a tradition for a group of women to run up to guys wearing neckties and cut them off with scissors, though I'm not sure which is considered more outlaw-- cutting off stranger's clothing or the running with scissors part.

And there's the irony of this 2-minute video, which shows that for Karneval, the folks of Cologne express their individuality, spontaneity and non-conformity by, um, gathering with a large group of like-minded people to sing songs off of carefully prepared lyrics sheets. Some things I'll never understand.