Some Things I'll Never Understand

As a selective chronicler of all things German, I may occasionally get tagged as a cynic or a xenophobe towards my fellow adopted countrymen. This really isn't the case-- I do like living here, my German comprehension and language skills continue to incrementally increase, I have absolutely no hangups about hopping a train and traveling throughout the country (or for that matter to Austria and/or Switzerland) despite my still-limited Deutsch sprachen, and I count German citizens as some of my good friends here. But, as the title suggests, there are a few things I'll never quite "get." And that's OK, and part and parcel of being a guest and observer of a country.

I mentioned the appearance of filled/jelly doughnuts (aka Krapfen) earlier this month as evidence of the German Fasching or pre-Lenten season. Fasching's final act takes place today, a day known as as Faschingsdienstag or Shrove Tuesday. There is a direct parallel with a lot of Catholic cultures, from Mardi Gras in New Orleans to Carnival in Venice and Rio-- a costume party to blow off steam. Actually, a lot of B's co-workers have taken yesterday (aka Rosenmontag or Rose Monday) and today off, because they are doing the party-hearty thing, and it's an accepted and acknowledged reason to take off from work. Up in Cologne and more Protestant reaches of the country, there is a similar but different thing-- it's just a crazed party with only tenuous religious overtones-- an event called Karneval, which is by all accounts closer in tone to the bacchanal blast of Mardi Gras than the comparatively tame Fasching I've seen here, where adults and kids dress up in costumes and "act silly."

In a country where it's perfectly normal to wait for the light to change before crossing an empty street at 1:00am, having a government-sanctioned couple days to "get crazy" leads to all sorts of oddball behavior. Control, and buttoned-down conformity are the order of the day the rest of the year, so I'm not sure a lot of the locals really know how to cut loose, and from my outsiders perch, it can appear a bit... forced (for the purposes of this post I'll conveniently forget beer festivals, which really tend to bring out the "true" German zeitgeist). Stuff like TV shows with minor celebrities dressed up "crazy" are all over the airwaves-- I saw a clip of a woman in a clown suit pulling a golf bag across the stage-- judging by the crowd reaction shots, everyone was soiling themselves laughing-- I mean, a clown with a golf bag--THAT'S NUTS!! By that token, if that's the pinnacle of high-comedy, this guy would make a mint here. Rubbernecker fascinating stuff. In Cologne, it's a bit of a tradition for a group of women to run up to guys wearing neckties and cut them off with scissors, though I'm not sure which is considered more outlaw-- cutting off stranger's clothing or the running with scissors part.

And there's the irony of this 2-minute video, which shows that for Karneval, the folks of Cologne express their individuality, spontaneity and non-conformity by, um, gathering with a large group of like-minded people to sing songs off of carefully prepared lyrics sheets. Some things I'll never understand.