Sketches of Spain Pt. 2: Faulty Tower-- Our Hotel

No, I'm not speaking of the classic BBC comedy Fawlty Towers; this has to do with our underwhelming hotel in Barcelona. Longtime readers of this flog know that I don't use this as a forum to settle scores... but these people have consciously made the choice not to set things right with us, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to call them out:

The Hotel España came recommended by a colleague of B's; a well-traveled executive who has seen their share of hotels all over the world. Despite its lofty rates, it was well-positioned just off the fashionably seedy (and insanely noisy) Las Ramblas, the central tourist district and arguably heart of Barcelona, and quite close to a metro stop. Because we had inexpensive airfare by using my frequent flier miles, we figured we'd splurge on a nice hotel and live it up a bit. Sadly, this was not the case. While it may claim to be a 4-Star hotel, this place consistently let us down. Yes the room was nice. The bed was firm. The hotel was clean and well-appointed (the complete refurb in 2010 to this 1800's building is nothing short of fantastic). But when it came down to brass tacks, it was lacking. About that room: It was swoopy and beautiful and modern, but exclamations of "Hey, how much do you think this cost?" were almost invariably followed by "Why the hell doesn't it work?" The shower shot out ice cold water at off-peak times. The bathroom sink stops were permanently shut and had to be manually opened (i.e. me holding the drain up) to empty. The TV never seemed to work. A water glass that broke (due entirely to my slippery hands) on the first night was never replaced for the duration of the stay. Most galling though had to be that the climate control didn't work-- well, actually it did-- the heater was always on. Always. So the room temperature when we woke up on our first morning was a positively balmy 26 Celsius-- just a shade under 80 degrees. In our sealed hotel room. at 9:00am. Repeated calls-- at least twice a day for each day of our stay-- to the front desk (in both Spanish and English) were met with varying levels of indifference or indignation-- their general belief was that clearly we were too stupid to operate our thermostat... except that for whatever reason all air conditioning controls were operated BY the front desk, and they routinely turned it off themselves. Now I've stayed in my share of dirtbag hotels including one memorably sketchy place in Mt. Vernon, Missouri where I barricaded the front door with chairs and my luggage for an extra degree of safety-- so I know from indifferent service and cold showers... but I did not expect it in a place that carried a price tag of over $1000 for 4 night's stay.

Upon check out, we politely voiced our displeasure with the hotel, ticking off the numerous problems we encountered during our stay and asking-- again, respectfully but clearly-- if they could "do something to remedy the situation." This was spoken just before I handed the clerk my credit card. He barely looked up, ran the card for the full amount, and mumbled something about how he couldn't help me, but he'd be sure to pass along our concerns to the manager and maybe she could authorize a partial refund. B pulled out her business card-- which rather prominently shows her major, internationally known employer-- and told the guy to have the manager use her contact info. Suffice it to say after 2+ weeks and several additional emails sent out there is still nothing forthcoming from the hotel. Before heading out to Spain, we were warned about the "Barcelona tourist tax"-- the fact that pickpockets would get the best of us, no matter how hard we tried to thwart them. Well, we survived the pickpockets, but still had a run in with a bunch of no-goodniks-- they worked at our hotel.

Coming next-- the GOOD things about our trip-- and plenty of food porn!